I’ve been in a very complacent place for a while now.  It’s been difficult for me to really pinpoint the exact reason for why I haven’t felt much of anything this year.  I have some ideas or let’s say guesses, but real answers have been difficult to find.  You can clearly see from this “dead blog” that writing has been one of the things I’ve been so cold towards.  My soul has been so empty and I’ve lacked empathy for just about everyone and everything around me.

But lately, I’ve been feeling a few sparks of interest and possibly even a little desire.  I’ve actually blown through a couple of books in the past few weeks and I’m on the path towards finishing another.  This has been a refreshing change, since reading this year has been so tedious and difficult.  My book pile has grown beyond manageable and if I were to take a two month vacation just to read, I’m confident I couldn’t finish all the books I have in my “to read” pile.

Today is the first time I’ve written in this journal since February and even though I’ve wanted to sit and write at times, I’ve not been able to bring myself to actually perform the act of doing it.  I love to write, even though I’m not that good at it.  Something about it is comforting and soothing and it helps my mind rest.  I always feel better when I’m able to think through something and put it into words.  It’s like medicine for my soul and it provides an outlet for the jumbled mess that often clutters up my mind.

My soul has certainly needed a reset.  I’m confident if I had kept writing this whole year, my journal would sound more like lamenting than real writing, so I really hope that today is the official reset for the bogged down complacent state of numbness I have been in.  I hope today marks the beginning of a refreshed state of being, a renewed sense of existence, and the start of a time in my life where I can write and read and create a feeling of newness once again.