February 8th, 2010 | by Kyle Stickens | 3 Comments »
Do you remember the scene from the movie Elf when Buddy runs in announcing “Dad…I’m in love, I’m in love and I don’t care who knows it.” If you don’t, here’s a YouTube clip from the movie. The scene gets a little tense, because innocent little Buddy confuses the expert writer, Miles Finch, with an Elf and ends up getting attacked by Miles after he mistakenly calls him an angry Elf. It’s humorous, but all too familiar for me.
You see, I’ve been having this secret affair and it’s been going on for quite some time now. Years! Deep in the pit of my gut I want to burst out like Buddy and proclaim to all around me “I’m in love, I’m in love and I don’t care who knows it!” I’m to the point where I don’t care about the implications anymore. I don’t care about what it will cost me. I’m sure I might experience isolation from some of my friends when they find out. And, my neighbors might not want to hang out with me anymore. Thoughts I’m sure that have caused me to keep my affair a secret for so long.
Today I’d like to confess my shame and embarrassment. It’s not doing me any good to keep this a secret any longer. It’s really only hurting me and all those around me that I love so much. Those that God loves so much.
I confess right now to having an affair with the Bride of Christ. Jesus. I’ve used him for my glory and gratification. I admit I’ve not lived like I should and it has only caused destruction to those who know me. I’ve not allowed this relationship to be open and free for everyone and my life certainly hasn’t proclaimed the good news that comes with this kind of relationship. I certainly have kept it an affair and I’m not proud of it.
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Affair, Bride of Christ, Friends, God, Honesty, Jesus, Love, Neighbors
Posted in
CHURCH, Christians, Confessional |
February 4th, 2010 | by Kyle Stickens | 2 Comments »
I fear the church has lost sight of what it really means to be useful in God’s kingdom. We tend to put a lot of emphasis on programs and policy’s and very little emphasis on people. If you think I’m wrong, then the next time you walk into a church building, just count how many different “programs” are in effect on a given Sunday morning. Do it! Count them! Look at the effort and energy that is being wasted during a two hour period on Sunday morning.
The argument can be made that the programs are in place for “the people” but if we get really honest about the programs, they really are designed for the people who are already inside the doors of the building and not for those people who have not yet stepped in, or may never step in.
If the emphasis was truly on the person or people, then we’d go. We would simply dismiss all the efforts we have tied up into the political aspects of “doing church” and we would simply just be the church in every breath and moment of our day.
Church can not be defined as an event that takes place once a week on Sunday. It must become the very essence of who we are. When we finally believe that we are the church, then and only then, will we finally feel we are being useful in the kingdom. I know we’ll see lives changed, people saved from sin and guilt, and a group of people who get to experience sabbath on a weekly basis. The reason I know it, is because I’m experiencing it.
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CHURCH, Communion, Forgiveness, God, Grace, Holy Spirit, Jesus, Kingdom, Peace, People, Politics, Prayer, Programs, Transformed Lives
Posted in
CHURCH, Organic Church |
February 1st, 2010 | by Kyle Stickens | 1 Comment »
Or at least the desire to be perfect kills. Maybe not literally, but it certainly can kill one’s creativity, or desire, or maybe even a relationship.
It’s hard to lead other’s when you put so much pressure on yourself to be perfect.
It stifles, strains, and leaves you feeling defeated most of the time.
I’ve wondered for about a year now, why it has been so difficult for me to write. I’ve blamed most of the problem on God or His lack of presence. I’ve complained about feeling dry, distant from him, and just not having any desire at all. However, I’m not sure any of that is really the truth.
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Gift, God, Honest, Honesty, Mistakes, Perfection, Perfectionist, Writing
Posted in
Confessional |
January 30th, 2010 | by Kyle Stickens | 3 Comments »
Copyright by URBANeyeSTUDIO
I’m not a prophet and I can’t say I’ve ever heard God speak out loud to me. I’m also quite confident I’ve never seen a literal burning bush. But, when I wake up humming the song Save You by Kelly Clarkson, I question if it’s God trying to say something to me. Especially on the morning of a day that is specifically designed to seek and hear God.
Today was planned. It didn’t just happen by chance. I’ve negotiated a deal with my family to give me five hours to myself at least once a month this year, and today was the day. I’ve felt like I’ve needed it, my counselor definitely thinks I need it, and I’ve certainly felt an impression by God drawing me to this place. I need time alone to spend with Him. To draw closer and near to the one who has created me. I have a deep need within my soul to feel His presence and to know that He’s there, listening, and desiring to be near me.
But, so often I screw all of that up. I get busy, lazy, complacent in my mere existence, and before you know it my thoughts are no longer centered on God. They are about me, my life, what I can get out of it and how I can be comfortable and happy. Then things get crazy, out-of-balance, and I start screwing everything up.
The truth is; when there’s not much quality coming in, there’s probably not much quality going out.
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Balance, Desire, God, Kelly Clarkson, Quality, Save Me, Saved, Screwing Up, Seeking God, Sin, Time Alone, Truth
Posted in
Food for Thought, Prayer |
January 25th, 2010 | by Kyle Stickens | 5 Comments »
If you’re a parent, I’m sure you’ll agree there are times when something happens to your child that just breaks your heart. A fall, a tough moment at school, or maybe an unwanted illness. No matter what it is, the love we have for our children causes our heart to ache when something happens that is out of our control. When you’re a parent of a special needs child, those times might happen just a little more frequent, which can wear on your soul. But every once in a while you get to experience a celebration or proud moment amidst the heartache. Today was one of those days.
This morning our son woke up with some excruciating pain. We still haven’t received the official diagnosis from his doctor yet, but all signs so far point to osteoporosis. This has caused our strong and improving little boy to digress to the point of needing a wheel chair, which is difficult for us as parents when less than a year ago, his teachers and therapists were bragging about how much progress he had made and how excited they were about his transitioning between class rooms using his arm crutches.
It’s frustrating for us to have to deal with this. Especially when he can’t even stand in the shower as was the case this morning. My wife had to make the decision to just get him out and ready for school and he’d just have to use his wheel chair until his pain was better. Then he could use his walker again.
Our son has made it very clear that he doesn’t want to use his wheel chair at school. No explanation given other than a shaky little, bothered voice, that said
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Avatar, Celebration, Children, Heartache, Kids, Movies, Osteoporosis, Parenthood, Parenting, Proud Moments, School, Special Needs Children, Wheelchairs
Posted in
Children, Experiences, Family, Love, Our Story, Pain & Hurt, Parenthood |
